Indians Designate Shaun Marcum For Assignment

01/07/2015 in Uncategorized

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Indians Designate Shaun Marcum For Assignment – MLB Trade Rumors The Indians have designated veteran righty Shaun Marcum for assignment, the club announced. Fellow right-hander Jeff Manship will be called up, taking Marcum s 40-man spot. Southpaw Kyle Crockett has been recalled from Triple-A as well, with infielder Zach Walters headed to Columbus in his place.This is the second time that Marcum has been put into DFA limbo by Cleveland this year. He accepted an outright assignment the last time around. A veteran of nine MLB seasons, Marcum had not thrown at the big league level since 2013.The 33-year-old has worked to a 5 Jake Lamb Jersey.40 ERA this year with 7.7 K/9 against 2.8 BB/9 over 35 innings. He s been hurt by the long ball, permitting 2.3 long balls per nine on a 20% homer-to-flyball rate. But at least some indicators show promise: Marcum does carry a 4 Andrew Chafin Jersey.22 xFIP and 3.97 SIERA. 3 Responses to Indians Designate Shaun Marcum For Assignment Leave a Reply daveineg 7 days ago What have you done for me lately? Geez, he s one start removed from a 7 inning, 2 hit, shutout performance against Seattle. What does that say about Seattle s offense?Yeah, he s been roughed up a couple times, but that s Shawn Marcum. Brixton 7 days ago Fellow right-hander Jeff Manship and southpaw will be called up isn t a southpaw a LHP? rivera42 7 days ago It is Paul Goldschmidt Jersey. Just take out and southpaw from the sentence and it ll make complete sense. Exclusive Articles Sign up to receive an exclusive weekly article by MLBTR owner Tim Dierkes Email Address MLB Trade Rumors is not affiliated with Major League Baseball, MLB or

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Expect Phillies to attempt to make moves with a good deal of teams Jonathan Papelbon

01/07/2015 in Uncategorized

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Expect Phillies to attempt to make moves with a good deal of teams Jonathan Papelbon looks more likely to be traded with each passing day. (Yong Kim/Staff Photographer) THE PHILLIES had the worst record in baseball (22-39) going into yesterday’s docket of major league games.They have scored the fewest runs (194) and they have the lowest team OPS (.645).Their starting pitching had the highest staff ERA (4.83) and their relief corps had the highest WHIP (1.45) among baseball’s 30 teams James McCann Jersey.None of this should be considered too surprising. What would be surprising would be a repeat of last July, when general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. shockingly held on to every single one of his veteran players at the trade deadline. Let’s assume that, this year, they are able to trade every veteran that has at least some value on the open market. What are the best-case scenarios and most likely destinations?Jonathan PapelbonThe Phillies have been attempting to trade their volatile closer going on three years now. The good news? It’s much easier to trade him with each passing day, as the money from his record contract becomes more manageable.Is about $7 million remaining this year and $13 million next year (an option he’d most likely want picked up from his new team) an exorbitant cost for a closer? You bet.But, as the Phillies front office has said for some time, and as was repeated in multiple reports this week, the Phils would be willing to take on some of that future salary to help facilitate a trade and ensure they get a useful prospect in return.The aforementioned recent reports – first from – had the Phillies in recent discussions with the Cubs and Blue Jays Toronto has been interested in Papelbon for some time and the All-Star closer would probably thrive in a return to the American League East. Factor in a strong farm system, and the Blue Jays appear to be the best fit.Ryan HowardIn the last seven weeks, beginning April 21, Howard has hit .256 with an .830 OPS, 11 home runs and 11 doubles in 44 games. If he could continue that for the next seven weeks, he might have some trade value.But Howard is, and will always be, the most difficult of the Phillies players to deal because of the money he is owed. Yes, like Papelbon, the money shrinks with each passing day. But unlike Papelbon, Howard isn’t still among the best players at his position, and he’s owed a minimum of $35 million through 2016 after this year.Still, we began this exercise by saying “best-case scenarios,” so let’s assume you can trade him. The Los Angeles Angels would be a unique fit.No, the Angels likely wil not be too eager to acquire one guy who once signed a five-year, $125 million contract (Howard) since they recently rid themselves of another with the same deal (Josh Hamilton). But the Angels offense has been dreadful (.682 OPS, third worst in the AL) and their production from the designated-hitter spot has been damning (four home runs, an AL-worst .617 OPS).If the Phils are willing to pay a large part of the freight, in exchange for a lottery ticket-type prospect, you could do worse things than chance sliding Howard into a lineup where he wouldn’t have to be the big piece, but just a nice, lefthanded complementary piece to the likes of Mike Trout and Albert Pujols.Chase UtleyNot applicable. Poor performance (hitting .220 over the last 12 months) plus complicated, cumbersome contract makes him more untradeable than Howard. Really. You can probably put Carlos Ruiz into the same category, too.Aaron HarangThe shine has surely worn off from when Harang was an attractive alternative to the premium starting pitchers on the market. He’s given up 13 runs in his last two starts, albeit to the same Cincinnati Reds team.Still, Harang will be traded. Heck, the Phillies found a taker for Roberto Hernandez last year. Teams always need pitching, regardless if it’s top-, middle- or bottom-of-the-rotation types.Two possible destinations for Harang: Kansas City and Houston. Both are young teams that could benefit from adding a capable veteran to rotatations needing just that kind of guy There are also teams that don’t seem as likely (they simply don’t have a Red Sox’ or Dodgers’ budget) to enter the bidding for the bigger names on the market.Ben RevereBoth the Angels and Mariners have been mentioned as possible suitors for Revere, as they each have struggling offenses that could use a boost in the outfield. But here’s another club to consider: the Dodgers.A week rarely goes by when the admittedly deep Dodgers don’t have an outfielder on the disabled list (hello, Carl Crawford). Revere seems to be a perfect fit for a team like the Dodgers – he can get semi-regular at-bats either in a platoon-type situation or when someone is out with an injury.And, come playoff time, Revere would be a very useful weapon off the bench. Just ask any Boston fan about Dave Roberts’ place in Red Sox history.Cole HamelsThis is the deal the Phillies cannot get wrong. Luckily, there are going to be more than a couple intriguing destinations for both the pitcher and the Phils front office.The Red Sox have long been linked to Hamels and the Dodgers can’t ever be ruled out, either.But we’ll steer away from the obvious and pick two others: the Yankees and Cubs. Both have already expressed interest in Hamels within the last year. Both also have promising sluggers (Yankees’ Aaron Judge, Cubs’ Kyle Schwarber) who aren’t far from the major leagues.Perhaps the Yankees, who just lost closer Andrew Miller to an injury, would take a Hamels-Papelbon package. In addition to Judge Nick Castellanos Jersey, a righthanded hitter built like Giancarlo Stanton, rising, 21-year-old righthander Luis Severino would be an impressive get for the Phillies.On Twitter: @ryanlawrence21Blog: We encourage respectful comments but reserve the right to delete anything that doesn’t contribute to an engaging dialogue. Help us moderate this thread by flagging comments that violate our guidelines. Comment policy: comments are intended to be civil, friendly conversations. Please treat other participants with respect and in a way that you would want to be treated. You are responsible for what you say. And please, stay on topic. If you see an objectionable post, please report it to us using the “Report Abuse” option. Please note that comments are monitored by staff. 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Camden Depot: A Conversation With Former MLB Outfielder

01/07/2015 in Uncategorized

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Camden Depot: A Conversation With Former MLB Outfielder Doug Glanville Being a contributor to Camden Depot allows the writers at this site to do many things. First and foremost, it allows us to research and analyze interesting topics about the Baltimore Orioles and baseball in general, while providing a medium to share that information with readers. It also provides a forum to have thoughtful conversation and discuss those ideas, which in turn helps us to become better writers and analysts. Every once in a while, an opportunity arises that allows us to get a different perspective from someone who has first-hand experience. One of those opportunities occurred yesterday, when I had the chance to talk with former MLB outfielder and current ESPN MLB Analyst Doug Glanville, prior to the ESPN Wednesday Night Baseball telecast of the Baltimore Orioles and the New York Mets.Our conversation mostly centered on defense, which was fitting, as Glanville was a skilled defender in the outfield during his playing days. Glanville hasn t been out of the clubhouse that long (he retired in 2005), but since then, the use and public availability of advanced defensive metrics such as Defensive Runs Saved and Ultimate Zone Rating has exploded. As a former outfielder with a strong defensive reputation, I was curious as to what defensive metrics were used while he was playing. Long story short, there was nowhere near what they have available today. Glanville stated that they mainly made use of charts and traditional information from the scouting department. Those methods helped, but so did the familiarity that resulted by playing alongside (and against) the same players day after day, helping him know exactly where he needed to position himself (and sometimes his teammates). However, even though there is much more data available now, there still can be a significant challenge making sure players are comfortable using that data.Glanville spent most of his professional career manning center field, so fittingly, our conversation shifted to Baltimore s own center fielder, Adam Jones ( he s an MVP candidate right now who is crushing any pitch thrown near the zone ). I asked about his thoughts on Jones as a defensive center fielder Jason Kipnis Jersey, and what he believed was the reason for the disconnect between Jones defensive reputation and the way he has been graded by advanced defensive metrics. Glanville responded that when it comes to defense, a vast majority of outfielders have a strength and a weakness.” He mentioned that besides Jones arm, his strength as a defender is running in on balls hit in front of him. However, Glanville continued that even though Jones will make some great plays at the wall, going back on balls over his head is his weakness, and that specific weakness is the reason defensive metrics have portrayed Adam Jones as a below average center fielder. Glanville explained further, stating that balls hit over an outfielder s head are more likely to become doubles and triples Shaun Marcum Jersey, whereas a ball that lands in front of an outfielder will most likely result in a single. Essentially, Jones ends up getting penalized by advanced metrics for his weakness more than he ultimately gets credit for his strengths due to the resulting run expectancy of the likely outcome if he doesn t catch the ball.This logic makes sense, and seems to be a very reasonable explanation as to why defensive metrics have disliked Jones in the past, despite the four gold gloves. However, since 2014, both DRS and UZR have rated him as a plus defender (shoutout to the small sample size of 2015). I asked Glanville what he thought may be the reason for the change, and he believed it was likely a result of Jones having a better idea of where to position himself (i.e., shifting), not only based on who the batter is, but also who is currently pitching. He credits the growth in Adam Jones as a baseball player for this improvement, and stated that he s a smart player who is getting smarter. But Glanville also gives credit to the front office and the coaching staff for being able to use the available data to put the defense in a better position through shifts, to more efficiently turn batted balls into outs.The increased use of infield shifts has gotten a lot of press over the last several years. I asked Glanville if he thinks we ll start to see more shifting in the outfield. He believes that it s likely already happening, but shifting in the outfield is a much more subtle process, as the factors that come into playing the outfield are less dramatic. In other words, he explains, outfielders have much more time to react to a ball hit their way than infielders do Marc Rzepczynski Jersey. Additionally, batted ball tendencies for hitters aren t typically as pronounced in the outfield as they are in the infield. However, Glanville believes that defense is becoming more of a collaborative effort than it was in the past, with the focus moving from individual defenders to overall team defense. As Glanville explains, employing the shift helps make the defense more of a single unit. As for this year’s version of the Orioles, Glanville picked them to win the AL East before the season began and fans should be happy to hear that he s sticking with his pick. He sees a lot of similarities to the 2014 team — an offense that packs a lot of power and can deliver a big punch, combined with a dominant bullpen. While the starting pitching has been a challenge so far, Glanville thinks the team can afford shorter starts due to the bullpen s ability to provide a bridge to the end of the game That formula worked last year, and Orioles fans are hoping it can work again in 2015.Thanks to Doug Glanville for taking the time to chat with Camden Depot and provide his unique perspective on defense, Adam Jones, and the Orioles. You can follow him on Twitter at @dougglanvilleDrop us a Line.We look forward to your questions as well as any suggestions you may have for us.Additionally, we are always looking for new contributors, so if you want to write for the Depot then e-mail us with an example column that you think fits the tone of the site. Batters OBP ISO wOBA UZR 90th .375 .215 .380 15 70th .345 .175 .350 7 50th .330 .145 .330 0 30th .315 .120 .320 -5 10th .295 .090 .300 -10 SP (Q) FIP GB% K/9 BB/9 90th 2.80 52 9.5 1.6 70th 3.35 47 8.2 2.2 50th 3.55 45 7.5 2.5 30th 3.90 43 6.9 2.9 10th 4.40 38 5.8 3.5 Jon Shepherd – founder@CamdenDepotStarted Camden Depot in the summer of 2007. By day, a toxicologist and by night a baseball analyst. His work is largely located on this site, but may pop up over at places like ESPN or Baseball Prospectus.Matt Kremnitzer – editor@mattkremnitzerMatt joined Camden Depot before the 2013 season. He previously wrote about the Orioles and D.C. sports at Krem’s Sports.Nate Delong – writer, assistant editor@OriolesPGNate created and wrote for Orioles Proving Ground prior to joining Camden Depot in the middle of 2013. His baseball resume includes working as a scorer for Baseball Info Solutions and as a Video Intern for the Baltimore Orioles. His actual resume is much less interesting.Matt Perez – writerMatt joined Camden Depot after the 2013 season. He is a data analyst/programmer in his day job and uses those skills to write about the Orioles and other baseball related topics.Joe Reisel – writerJoe has followed the Norfolk Tides now for 20 seasons. He currently serves as a Tides GameDay datacaster for and as a scorer for Baseball Info Solutions (BIS). He is computer programmer/analyst by day.Patrick Holden – writer, assistant editor@pfholdenPat joined Camden Depot during the 2014 season. Inexplicably, he also writes about Hockey at BrooksLaichyear.Ryan Romano – writer@triple_r_Ryan writes about the Orioles on Camden Depot and about all baseball at Beyond the Box Score. He previously wrote on Birds Watcher and on Camden Chat that one time.

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Angels have a comeback plan for Josh Hamilton –

01/07/2015 in Uncategorized

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Angels have a comeback plan for Josh Hamilton – LA Times Sports Angels Angels have a comeback plan for Josh Hamilton Josh Hamilton Jae C. Hong / Associated Press Angels outfielder Josh Hamilton sits in the dugour before a game last season. Angels outfielder Josh Hamilton sits in the dugour before a game last season. (Jae C. Hong / Associated Press) By Bill Shaikin contact the reporter Los Angeles Angels Sports Baseball Josh Hamilton is expected to work out in Angels spring complex, possibly join club in June There are no active contract settlement discussions between Josh Hamilton and the Angels Mike Scioscia: A healthy Josh Hamilton is definitely something that can make any offense better The Angels have mapped out a comeback regimen for Josh Hamilton, under which the troubled outfielder could rejoin the team in early June.Under the tentative plan, Hamilton would report to the Angels’ Arizona training complex for two to three weeks of work with the team’s extended spring program. He would then proceed to a minor league rehabilitation assignment and could rejoin the Angels thereafter. Troubled Angels outfielder Josh Hamilton files for divorce in Texas Mike DiGiovanna Josh Hamilton’s troubles are not limited to the substance-abuse relapse that has sparked an ugly dispute with the Angels and owner Arte Moreno. The outfielder and his wife, Katie, are in the process of getting a divorce, the Dallas Morning News reported Saturday afternoon. Josh Hamilton’s troubles are not limited to the substance-abuse relapse that has sparked an ugly dispute with the Angels and owner Arte Moreno. The outfielder and his wife, Katie, are in the process of getting a divorce, the Dallas Morning News reported Saturday afternoon. ( Mike DiGiovanna ) ————FOR THE RECORD: Angels game: In the April 21 sports section, a photo caption misidentified an Oakland Athletics outfielder who made a diving catch against the Angels. The player was Sam Fuld, not Stephen Vogt. ————Hamilton is expected to report to Arizona sooner rather than later, according to a person familiar with the plan but unwilling to discuss it publicly until the Angels announce it. The person spoke before the Angels’ 6-3 loss to the Oakland Athletics at Angel Stadium on Monday. Related Sports NowGarrett Richards makes his return as Angels lose to Astros, 4-3See all related8 The plan does not guarantee that Hamilton plays again for the Angels, but at the least it buys time for owner Arte Moreno. If Hamilton appears sound enough that his presence on the roster could give the Angels their best chance to win, the players might be discouraged if Moreno lets Hamilton go.Moreno has pointedly declined to say Hamilton would rejoin the team but has not decided whether to try to enforce contract provisions that the owner has said could void the deal. The players’ union has vigorously disputed that claim, and any challenge by Moreno likely would end up in arbitration.Hamilton reported a substance-abuse relapse in February, and an arbitrator subsequently ruled Hamilton had not violated his drug treatment program and could not be suspended by Major League Baseball. The Angels owe Hamilton $83 million through 2017. There are no active settlement discussions between Hamilton and the team, according to the person familiar with the matter. The rehabilitation assignment could show any team that might be interested in trading for Hamilton, who is coming back from shoulder surgery, that he is sound.But, if the Angels’ offense does not improve soon, they might be longing for Hamilton. The Angels are batting .214, and the three players getting more at-bats because of Hamilton’s absence each is batting under .200. cComments Of course the Angels have a comeback plan for Hamilton. It s comeback to the team offices in Anaheim so we can scold you in person, write a huge check to buy out your contract, and show you the door. fteter at 1:17 PM April 24, 2015 Matt Joyce, who replaced Hamilton as the primary left fielder, is batting .167. C.J. Cron, who has picked up most of the at-bats at designated hitter, is batting .129. Collin Cowgill, the backup left fielder, is batting .192.Those players have combined for two home runs in 99 at-bats.Hamilton, the American League most valuable player in 2010, made the All-Star team in each of his five seasons with the Texas Rangers. He struggled in his first two years in Anaheim, often hampered by injury, batting .250 with 21 home runs in 2013 and .263 with 10 home runs last season. But Hamilton was an above-average offensive player in each of those seasons, according to the OPS+ statistic, in which 100 represents the average. Hamilton has a 110 OPS+ in his Angels tenure. Obviously, he’s a threat with his bat, outfielder Mike Trout said. He’s helped us over the last couple of years, and we saw what he did in Texas. He’s part of the team. I’m sure, when he’s fully healthy, we’ll see him back. Trout was not among the players who met with Hamilton when the Angels played in Houston last week Hamilton is working out there for now but outfielder Kole Calhoun was. He’s a teammate, man, Calhoun said. He’s a good guy. He’s a good person. I know all he wants to do right now is play baseball. Manager Mike Scioscia emphasized that his primary concern about Hamilton is supporting him in getting whatever help he might need to handle his relapse. Beyond that, Scioscia said, he is interested to see how Hamilton looks when he gets out of the training room and back onto the field. A healthy Josh Hamilton is definitely something that can make any offense better Jason Garcia Jersey, Scioscia said.The Angels traded Howie Kendrick, who replaced Hamilton as the cleanup batter last summer, to the Dodgers in the off-season. A lot of the projections we had to make when Howie was traded was that Josh was here, Scioscia said. We fully anticipated that. We still anticipate that, at some point. Copyright 2015, Los Angeles Times Los Angeles Angels Sports Baseball Sports Now Garrett Richards makes his return as Angels lose to Astros, 4-3Garrett Richards was good but not great Sunday in his long-awaited return from left-knee surgery. Angels C.J. Cron homers but Angels fall, 4-3, to AstrosAT THE PLATE: C.J. Cron, who started the game with a .125 average, followed David Freese s fourth-inning single with a two-run home run to left field to pull the Angels even, 2-2. Albert Pujols hit a home run to left field in the eighth to pull the Angels to within 4-3. It was his 523rd 18th… Sports Now Angels star Mike Trout proves a tougher out during two-homer gameHouston reliever Chad Qualls got two quick strikes on Mike Trout in the eighth inning of a tie game Friday night and threw two nasty pitches, down and in, to the Angels center fielder. Sports Now Return of Angels pitcher Garrett Richards from knee surgery is imminentGarrett Richards will find out Saturday when he will make his first start of 2015 for the Angels, but the right-hander s return from surgery to his left knee is imminent. NHL / Ducks NHL to explore expansion, and Las Vegas group is front and centerThere might be a simpler way to describe the NHL s decision to explore expanding beyond 30 teams. Dodgers Now Dodgers win, and they re still looking for pitchingA six-week offensive slump hasn t changed the Dodgers priorities heading into the July 31 non-waiver trade deadline, the team s president of baseball operations said Wednesday. Sports Now Taylor Featherston an unlikely hero in Angels 13-inning win over AstrosAlmost three months into the 2015 season, the Angels finally realized a return on the trade that sent one of their most productive and consistent hitters, veteran second baseman Howie Kendrick, to the Dodgers last December. Dodgers Now Taking a closer look at the Dodgers offensive slumpThe Dodgers can t score! They couldn t sell General Manager Farhan Zaidi s signed copy of Oasis (What s the Story) Morning Glory? for a run. Hits have become as rare as a rainy day in L.A. LoadingMember CenterPlace an AdLocal California Sports Entertainment Business Opinion Nation World Lifestyle Travel Autos Real Estate Photos Video Great Reads CLASSIFIEDS FIND A JOB SHOP ADVERTISING CORRECTIONS PRIVACY:UPDATE Terms: Update SITE MAP ABOUT US CONTACT US Local Breaking News Obituaries Weather Central L.A. Eastside Harbor Northeast L.A. Pomona Valley S.F. Valley S.G. Valley South Bay Southeast South L.A. 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by NoPoet

[40K] Another Day to Die

30/06/2015 in Warhammer 40K

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The grav-tank shattered as though made of crystal and sank to the ground, graceful even in ruinous death.

“Tempest down, I repeat, Tempest is down,” the stormtrooper reported, already dropping his magnoculars and unslinging his long-las.

The Land Raiders rumbled from the cover of ruins and surrounding woodland, ten black-painted tanks heading toward the Alaitoc lines, nine Land Raiders bearing the heraldry of a distinct Chapter of Astartes along with the scars of battle-damage, a single tank bearing the stylised I of the Imperial Inquisition. This tank was the oldest of them all. Its twin-barrelled lascannon sponsons still glowed with the heat of discharge from its kill shot.

Human soldiers advanced between them; two hundred mechanised Guard infantry marching beside their Chimeras, the fighter-transports dwarfed by the Astartes battle tanks.

Inquisitor Drayke leaned forward to peer into the servitor’s driving compartment of his personal Land Raider, Bulwark of Scorn. His power armour hissed and whirred as it adapted to the Bulwark’s rolling motion. The holo-viewers in the driving compartment revealed a shimmering, bucking image of the Imperial city ahead: the tithe buildings were occupied by Eldar snipers, grav-tanks and weapons platforms rose from behind the buildings in so-called pop-up attacks, each of which killed Imperial vehicles and drove human troopers into cover.

“Gonna kick xenos ass,” trooper Dornis muttered from his seat in the troop compartment. The Bulwark‘s engine roared as if in agreement. Drayke grinned to himself. He was leading a contingent of battle-hardened Imperial Guard, every man and woman among them full of hatred for the fickle Eldar, sick of the xenos’ relentless attacks across this system.

The Alaitoc. The betrayers, allies of convenience, murderers of human beings and defilers of the Emperor’s domain when it suited them. What did those fragile, mincing bastards even want? To think, only two years ago Drayke had even fought alongside the treacherous scum – reluctantly, and purely at the request of the misguided Chapter Master Blenthis of the Firedogs Chapter – to repulse those strange metallic beings who had almost wiped out the colony of Nova III.

Now the Alaitoc were here on this civilised world, disrupting the collection of tithes and killing civilians.

More than this, Drayke was leading the Deathwatch, one hundred Space Marines from across the Imperium

“Save some for the rest of us, Dornis,” the Inquisitor said. His voice was startlingly deep. It was a voice that carried, that made people listen.

“It’s a good day to die,” a deeper voice rumbled.

Dornis turned. Brother Svenjar was a towering presence, his black Terminator plate decorated with feral-looking runes. One of the Space Wolf’s immense shoulder pauldrons displayed his Chapter heritage – a black wolf against a yellow background – while the other displayed his Terminator honours, in this case fashioned into the ornate emblem of the Deathwatch.

“Predicting a negative future again, my friend?” Drayke said with a smirk.

“I’ll be right one of these days.” The Wolf Priest chuckled. Drayke had never met another Astartes with a self-deprecating sense of humour. It shouldn’t have instilled confidence but Svenjar radiated assurance. All Space Wolves seemed to. The Inquisitor would never admit this, even to himself, but the Wolves were his preferred battle companions. Even the men, who were somewhat intimidated by the Wolves’ brutal charisma, exchanged pleased looks when they knew they’d be fighting alongside warriors of that Chapter. The Wolves seemed to remember what it meant to be human. Few other Astartes did.

“Any activity from their witches?”

“The Eldar have a powerful coven of psykers directing their formations from somewhere behind the city. There are other psykers spread thinly among their lines, directing ghost warriors and Titans.”

“Have they attempted contact?”

“No,” Svenjar said, stroking his beard. His massive bulk seemed immune to the Bulwark’s rolling motion. “They know I’m here, they just haven’t bothered to show me love.”

“Remind me to send them a stern missive,” said Drayke. “Ignoring Brother Svenjar, eh? One more thing to add to their list of crimes.”

The Land Raider column rumbled into the open space between the Imperial position and the Eldar-occupied city. Grey rockrete buildings towered. The Eldar invasion had done minimal damage to the planet’s infrastructure; most of the shell holes and battle damage in the unattractive hab-buildings had been inflicted by the Imperial Guard.

Guard troopers boarded their Chimeras while the transports were still moving at walking pace. They’d been drilled to perfection. Not a single soldier tripped, broke an ankle or found themselves left behind. The Chimeras fanned out, dropping slightly back from the more survivable Land Raiders. Bulwark remained in the lead, the irascible tank practically daring the Eldar to waste more shots against it.

A detachment of Deathwatch Rhinos emerged from the forests far to Drayke’s west, appearing as if from nowhere and gunning at full speed towards a distant building. Eldar las-fire flashed, either narrowly missing the speeding vehicles or impacting worthlessly against reinforced armour. Five Land Speeders raced past the Rhinos, circling and strafing one of the Eldar-held buildings.

Drayke and Svenjar watched in silence as the Bulwark’s holo-displays showed the tactical overlays. The Alaitoc had deployed atypically, hiding themselves within and between the buildings ahead of the human advance and waiting for the Imperials to come to them. Swarms of jetbike riders swept forth to attack specific Imperial detachments before suddenly changing direction and fleeing; they were like shoals of predatory fish, charging, swarming, then exploding into retreat.
The Bulwark lurched and gears whined in protest as incoming fire began to pelt the Land Raider company.

“Come on, old friend,” Drayke said, rapping a sidewall as encouragement, “we’ll avenge your wounds a hundredfold. Just please get us there.”

“Emergency!” one of the servitors shouted, something close to emotion in its voice. “Enemy Titan unscrambling ahead. Phantom-class. Primary armaments: thermal cannon, power fist. Secondary armaments unknown. Detecting buildup in thermal cannon.”

“Where the hell did that come from?” trooper Yann yelled.

“Open fire!” Drayke ordered the servitor crew.

The Titan was majestic, a living sculpture of bone and gemstones, the embodiment of the Eldar form escalated to colossal scale. It seemed to coalesce into existence before them, where previously there had been little more than motes of light dancing in the morning air.

It opened fire moments before the Land Raiders. The beam of focused heat punched straight through the frontal armour of a Raider wearing heraldry of the Crimson Fists. The tank exploded from the inside out. A devastating loss, for a Chapter accustomed to devastating losses.

“Unable to hit target,” one of the Bulwark’s gunnery servitors said. It showed no feelings at all. It might have been reporting from a training ground, rather than under live fire from a hostile Titan.

The Phantom danced around the lattice of laser beams sent against it. The Chimeras joined in: multilasers, autocannon, heavy bolters, even a heavy flamer from one over-enthusiastic gunner. Hunter-killer missiles flared against the Titan but were unable to lock on, their simplistic machine spirits foxed by some daemonry. Those few shots which found a mark against the Titan’s legs did no damage.

“Incoming firepower,” intoned the driver.

The Phantom Titan’s most distinctive feature were its arching wing-flues. These flues contained secondary weapon systems. Missiles, little golden stars, streaked down to burst among the approaching Imperial armour. Two Chimeras swerved, melting and in flames, and two of the Land Raider company were wreathed in plasma fire.

“Left lascannon sponson overheating. Increasing coolant flow. Right lascannon sponson overheating. Increasing coolant flow. Coolant flow unable to compensate. Reducing firing rate. Blessed in the Emperor and steady is our aim.”

A second shot from the Titan blew the left-side tracks from a Headhunters Land Raider. Six Stormtroopers emerged, coughing and shouting, leaving four men dead and burning inside. The wounded Land Raider continued firing with its single remaining lascannon, barrels glowing as they overheated, until a second wave of plasma missiles consuming it and its fleeing passengers.

“Primary armament offline: weapon temperature critical in both sponsons. Advancing to combat speed, collision course plotted. Brace for impact.”

“What the hell’s it think it’s doing?” trooper Folk said. “Inquisitor –”

“Hold your place, whelp,” Svenjar said, somehow sounding reassuring rather than insulting, another little trick that kept Guard-Wolf relations healthy.

“This bloody tank,” Drayke murmured, wondering what the Land Raider had planned. Had its ancient spirit finally succumbed to senility, preferring death rather than servitude-in-madness?

“Trust it, Inquisitor,” Svenjar rumbled. “We old-timers know what we’re doing, especially when it seems like we don’t.”

“We are attracting enemy fire,” a servitor said. “Brace.”

The Phantom Titan looked down at the Bulwark of Scorn, its Eldar crew – if crew there were, you never knew with these alien scum – paying scant attention to its own movements as it evaded Imperial firepower with an ease that bordered on ridiculous. It levelled its heat lance, the weapon locked rigidly on target despite the war machine’s capering dance, and discharged, the shot tearing the Bulwark’s dormant assault cannon free.

Drayke and the Wolf Priest remained on their feet but the stormtroopers were bucked in their seats, saved from further injury only by their restraints, though Sergeant Polens managed to knock himself unconscious.

Smoke filled the passenger compartments and the low lighting was replaced by red emergency lumens. A siren wailed.

“Armour penetrated: secondary weapon destroyed. Flashback to engine reactor… stabilising… beyond my ability to stabilise. Invoking blessed machine-spirit to self-repair. Oh Bulwark of Scorn, long-serving hero of the Imperium, survive that you may fight for the Emperor and Omnissiah, live so that your precious human cargo may live, endure that the Imperial Truth may endure…”

Drayke murmured prayers himself. The Bulwark was an old bastard, but it was brave and, so far as Drayke knew, the Land Raider had never allowed one of its passengers or crew to die in transit, no matter what hit them. It was thrice-blessed by the Saint of Agamemnon, it survived the barrage of no less than two Mega-Gargants when almost an entire Imperial army had been lain waste in the Valley of Carnage and rumours persisted that it had fought in defence of Terra during the forgotten horrors of the Great Heresy.

Its insane charge distracted the hostile Titan just enough for the Imperial Fists Land Raider, Meet Dorn’s Gaze, to land a penetrating shot that blew the Titan’s left knee joint out. Caught in a manoeuvre impossible for an Imperial Titan to emulate, the Phantom fell sideways, landing on its power fist. Wraithbone shards flew as the Titan’s weight forced it into the dirt.

Lascannon fire carved chunks from the fallen Titan’s body even as a shockwave rippled out from its point of impact. This time Inquisitor Drayke was thrown backwards by the unbelievable force and even the Wolf Priest shot an arm out to brace himself.

The Phantom Titan managed one final shot, evaporating Meet Dorn’s Gaze and bringing eight thousand years of heroism to an end. The Titan’s head loomed large before the Bulwark of Scorn; the Land Raider crunched, then jolted sharply, as its tracks bit into the Titan’s featureless face.

“Grind the bastard into the dirt,” Drayke ordered as he tried to clamber to his feet.

Today was a good day to die, but only for the Eldar.

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[NEWS] Working for The Man

28/06/2015 in Imp Lit News

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Greetings Imp Litters. Following our previous update many moons ago, I have been hammering away at my fiction. I’ve been recruited, along with nine other writers considered to be “top guns” over at, to write a story for an unofficial Horus Heresy anthology called Age of Horror. (What an awesome name!)

My entry features the Death Guard while they are still loyal to the Emperor, battling against a highly militarised species called the Klenikk, a xenos race who believe humanity is a pawn of the Primordial Annihilator and have declared war against the fledgling Imperium. This should appeal to anyone who’s sick of Heresy novels always being Space Marines versus human rebels, and anyone who, like myself, are wondering why the Death Guard are all but absent from the Heresy literature (although, in fairness, they were the first Legion to get their own novel after the opening Sons of Horus trilogy).

In the meantime I have also submitted samples of my writing to the Games Workshop in response to their open submission policy, so I should be getting my rejection notice from them in about three weeks or so! They have been dropping hints that some rejected writers haven’t been entirely dismissed, so for the next few weeks I’ll be engaged in reading and writing Heresy fiction to study the masters.

Hopefully I’ll find time to squeeze in more fiction on Imperial Literature over the coming days.

Peace out and count the seven,


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[NEWS] The future of Imp Lit

07/06/2015 in Imp Lit News

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Greetings all.

Currently updates to Imp Lit are still on hold. As I mentioned in my last update, I have finally commenced treatment for a rather severe case of ADHD, though this has been hampered and delayed by medical incompetence. Instead of beginning treatment in February I ended up starting it late April/early May.

I don’t know anyone else who’s ever had a diagnosis of ADHD, let alone commenced treatment for it, so I’ve been operating in the dark; nobody in the medical profession knew what dose of medication would help or how long it would take to start working, if it did anything at all. I was also diagnosed with asperger syndrome. The ADHD and asperger traits pull against each other quite often, which makes it difficult to know whether I’m coming or going, and it has rendered me unable to fulfill long-term or important responsibilities, such as running a once-popular website.

Well the good news is I’ve been taking a medication called strattera (atomoxetine) which has had a profound impact on me. Being an aspie, I can only tolerate a low dose, too low to completely break the hold autism and ADHD have over my behaviour, but more than enough to boost me into building a new life. I haven’t been taking my current dose for long enough to see maximum benefit. Consequently, I have days where I am fearless and inspired, and others where I just can’t seem to get anything done.

The benefits of strattera have been unexpected. I haven’t suddenly developed laser focus, or become mega-popular (although I definitely get on better with people now), or churned out three novels in a month. It’s gradually helping me to take control over my thoughts and feelings in a way that I simply couldn’t conceive of before. I am developing an intense drive to get out into the world and experience what I’ve been missing. This new sensation has actually taken me further away from my writing as I now want to experience life first hand, rather than sit at home writing about it.

So I still intend to work on Imp Lit and get new stories up, and as Gideon helpfully pointed out the story section needs work so that people can actually view things by category. This will happen – but I have got a long way to go in my personal life, there are still a few things that need fixing there before I can return to Imp Lit and fix that too.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and thanks for your continued patronage of Imp Lit.


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[NEWS] February 2015 update – user registration

05/02/2015 in Imp Lit News

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Greetings all. It has been many moons since I promised new stories. Unfortunately, real life has had plans for me and I have barely got anything done since the beginning of January. I also haven’t been able to do anything to try to restore Imp Lit to its former glory.

I’m concerned that some members are being blocked from registering or re-registering, or even just posting on the forums, by Imp Lit’s spam software. There is plenty of legitimate traffic to the site, just no posts, so there’s obviously something going wrong.

I had to install heavy-duty anti-spam software due to relentless spam attacks throughout 2013 and early 2014. If any members are reading this and are having problems, PLEASE EMAIL ME on and I will investigate.

I have caught several attempted registrations from long-standing members who have been barred, without my intention to do so, by the spam filters. These should have all been corrected but I simply do not know if it’s worked.

From mid-February 2015 onwards, and for the first time in my life, I will be receiving support for ADHD which I was diagnosed with at the end of 2013. I have been told that the personal benefits of this treatment could be significant and I should hopefully be more productive, better able to focus on bringing Imp Lit back to life. It may be a gradual process though, I’m venturing into the unknown here.

An email will be going out to all members soon asking you all to confirm whether or not you are able to post and/or re-register (if required) on the forums.

I’ll also be investigating new options for spam blocking that won’t prevent members from returning or signing up.


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[40K] Marneus Calgar’s Barmy Army: Calgar’s Kidney Stone (part 2)

25/12/2014 in Warhammer 40K

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“Where’s that bloody tech marine?”

Dick had had to enlist three other Ultramarines to help him give a chair-lift to Marneus Calgar. The fat, complaining Chapter Master had point-blank refused to strip out of his armour for the journey. He was paranoid about “That new girl seeing my nipples”.

They’d worked up a fine sweat by the time they reached the transport bay. Unfortunately the bay, which was more of a circular, open-air arena which perpetually stank of promethium, was almost empty. The floor of the bay was streaked with black stains. Above them, the winter sky was a brooding presence.

“He’s uninstalling Firefox from all our computer systems, sir, and loading Opera in their place.”

“Why in the name of Bob Hoskins did I ask him to do that?”

“You need to work harder on those memory tests, sir. The Inquisition declared Firefox to be more bloated than Nurgle’s colon and you were sick of having your computer freeze for five minutes every time you started Firefox up. Said the waiting made your bollocks retract into your hips.”

“Tech-Priest Nerdingham is the laziest, most unmotivated slob in the region,” said Calgar without irony. “The first time he ever does anything I ask him to is the day my kidney goes kamikaze. He was supposed to be working on the Rhinos today!”

“You put the fear of Guilliman into him, my Lord, by threatening him thus: ‘I don’t give a flying feth about the tanks, mate, you either install Opera or spend five minutes in the nerve glove, pain level ‘watching the European intro to Gran Turismo 5.'”

“That’s quite a good impression of me,” Calgar said, not sure whether to be impressed or go into one of his tantrums. “You even pronounced our Primarch’s name correctly. Hardly anybody does that.”

(Unfortunately, dear reader, even I don’t know how to pronounce that name, and I’ve been taking it in vein for more than a decade!)

There was a familiar buzzing crack; not of the lord Calgar’s flatulence for a delightful change, but an incoming lasgun shot.

“Look out, sir!” Dick yelled, almost flipping the Chapter Master out of their grasp as he tumbled the group of Ultramarines sideways.

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[40K] Marneus Calgar’s Barmy Army: Calgar’s Kidney Stone (part 1)

23/12/2014 in Warhammer 40K

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Marneus Calgar’s Barmy Army: Calgar’s Kidney Stone

A Warhammer 40,000 parody by NoPoet

Synopsis: Gasp and vomit your way through this insulting, lavatory-humour farce in which the Lord Calgar, whom my Windows Surface tablet thinks should be called “Marines Calgary”, is menaced by a nasty kidney stone… oh, and an invasion of Nurgle. All Calgar wanted to do was use the toilet…

The Marneus Calgar’s Barmy Army Official Anthem

With special thanks to the track author, Dummy, and OC ReMix


Calgar’s Kidney Stone


Calgar’s Discomfitting Kidney Mishap


Marneus Calgar: A Profane, Blasphemous and Intelligence-Insulting Anecdote of One Man’s Unfortunate Circumstance



Welcome to Macragge, home to the most pious Imperial servants: an entire Chapter of devout warrior-monks, heroic noblemen whose lives are constantly on the line so trillions of robe-wearing minions can scribe things that someone else chucks in the bin. Macragge is a rocky and cold world, a place where dwell men of legend… and their glorious leader, Marneus Calgar.

“OW!” roared Lord Calgar from his uncompromising squat on the Crapper of Macragge. “My fething piles are playing up. They’re throbbing like alien brains in a B-movie.”

“Then stop sitting down with a thump, sir!” Dick called from outside the door. “Remember what the apothecary said: don’t provoke the piles!

“I’ll provoke the little bastards when I pop them with a power sword and cauterise them with a hand flamer! Even if it itches like a fething bitch, it will be a blessed relief compared to this! I feel like I stuck my arse in a nerve glove set to ‘exterminatus’. Or maybe ‘exterminanus’.”

“My Lord?”

“It was bawdy lavatory humour, Bannerman. You can feel free to laugh.”

“Oh,” Dick said. “Ha. Ha.”

“Nobody ever gets my jokes,” said Marneus Calgar as the toilet strained beneath his podgy rolls. “You know something, Number Two? These aren’t just piles. They’re rancid visitations. Every time I try to push, I get a stabbing pain in my lower back.”

“You might be wiping too hard, sir,” Dick offered. “We can hear bog roll tearing and shuffling in there for twenty minutes every time you have a crap. It’s bound to play havoc with your ring region.”

“You may be right, Number Two,” Calgar conceded. “Oh, speaking of bog roll, some silly tosser used the last of my Andrex. Fetch us a couple of rolls, will you?”

“Which kind, my Lord?”

“Er… natural pebble, because their marketing executives called it that with a straight face. Fair play to them, their will is clearly stronger than mine. And tell the lads to stop pinching it, I’m supposed to be the only person who comes in here at stopping-off time.”

“You are the only person who goes in there, you big fat bog-roll wasting bell end,” Dick muttered as he headed for the pantry, where Calgar hid his Andrex.

“Oh, and Number Two?” Calgar said.

“You shouldn’t really use that nickname when you’re in there, sir,” Bannerman said, coming back. “I never actually know if it’s me you’re talking to.”

“I do apologise, Dick. I’m only the Chapter Master of the Ultramarines, who am I to address my underlings in the manner of my choosing?”

“What is it, sir?” said Dick, wisely changing tack.

“Can you explain to me the function of Lyman’s ear?”

“Er, no, to be honest. Do you still want that toilet roll? Only, Milo and I are organising a Forza tournament -”

“The Lyman’s Ear, you great blasphemous tit, allows me to hear everything you say within a football field’s radius, even above the constant, squeaking, gaseous emanation of my ablutions. So the next time you accuse me of wasting toilet roll, get ready for the nerve glove, pain level ‘Listening to the theme tune of classic British sitcom Dear John through headphones, on constant repeat, for five hours, without alcohol or other anaesthetic’.”

“Anything but that!” Dick cried. “My apologies, Lord Calgar. I’ll attend to your toilet roll emergency at once.”

TOOT! replied the Lord Calgar’s arsehole. It echoed for some seconds, trapped between a clogged u-bend and Calgar’s fat, spotty backside.

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